tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8109650358556115822.post5361869906230033266..comments2023-11-29T20:48:57.410+05:30Comments on Imaginations Personified: Now for the Vagabond - (the French Ballade form)Shamsud Ahmedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402062675521045468noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8109650358556115822.post-35814616198736666062012-03-13T10:26:03.278+05:302012-03-13T10:26:03.278+05:30Yes...i have never tried this form before and i am...Yes...i have never tried this form before and i am working on this poem continuously and hence the typo. Thank you for your honest feedbackShamsud Ahmedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10402062675521045468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8109650358556115822.post-76854786468976098602012-03-13T06:44:34.882+05:302012-03-13T06:44:34.882+05:30I have to admit, I am not all that familiar with t...I have to admit, I am not all that familiar with this type of poetry. I did find the subject to be a little confusing, but perhaps I'm just not understanding it. I also thought some words were misspelled (defence = defense).<br /><br />Still, I think you have talent as a poet. Keep writing!Sherry Ellishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07844837212122243321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8109650358556115822.post-64276531806450325182012-02-10T22:48:47.868+05:302012-02-10T22:48:47.868+05:30Thank you so much for a detail feedback...Yes i fo...Thank you so much for a detail feedback...Yes i found it difficult to keep with the form and it took me sometime to work on this one...however, as i have started now...i will get back with something which defines the essence of this form...Thank you so muchShamsud Ahmedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10402062675521045468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8109650358556115822.post-39579468782401894082012-02-10T22:40:11.233+05:302012-02-10T22:40:11.233+05:30Dear Shamsud - I had difficulty with this poem as ...Dear Shamsud - I had difficulty with this poem as to subject. There are many brilliant images sprinkled throughout and lots of words used in unusual ways. <br /><br />However, I am unsure where you wanted to go with it as it changes viewpoint throughout and has MANY messages. I am thinking they are all worthy messages and you may be wanting to combine them in a modernist way. <br /><br />Nevertheless I think even if you are trying for a deconstructionist way of making your point, your focus gets lost between you and the reader. <br />You might try to hone it a little more.<br /><br />As to the form, you worked it a little too hard. It isn't as difficult as you have made it here. The form does call for only three stanzas and a four line envoie.Since you used an eight line stanza, it should be a regular ballade form. The rhymes should NOT change from stanza to stanza but continue the same; and you did not employ the refrain, that is the last line of all stanzas (3) and the last line of the envoi ( and therefore the poem) should repeat if not identically, then fairly close to it. I think that is one of the identifying features of the ballade.<br />However, you took the form on with gusto and I must say I admire your attack and the broad spectrum of subjects you addressed here. Maybe just spend a little more time now in framing it to the form.<br />Thank you so much for reading and linking. It is very much appreciated.Beachannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08638256396472533685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8109650358556115822.post-35171122328586627702012-02-10T22:32:24.826+05:302012-02-10T22:32:24.826+05:30Thank you Rohini....Yes...i have been writing for ...Thank you Rohini....Yes...i have been writing for a long time and thought of trying something new...you will see more coming...Shamsud Ahmedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10402062675521045468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8109650358556115822.post-4363796901239113222012-02-10T22:15:15.065+05:302012-02-10T22:15:15.065+05:30Its absolutely beautiful... thumbs up!! Attempting...Its absolutely beautiful... thumbs up!! Attempting french b is not the easiest of jobs.. :)Rohinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16838146755237484411noreply@blogger.com